The Past and Present Where the World Collides
by Pandesme
Summary: Magic wasn't the only reason Merlin left Ealdor, Arthur wasn't the first person Merlin has ever been a servant to, and Will wasn't his only friend. After all magic isn't banned in Cenred's kingdom. What happens when his past finally catches up to him?
1. Chapter 1

Warnings: AU, SLASH, Possible OOC, and some OC'S.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, and I am not making any money off of this.

A/N: Am I the only one who wonders about merlin's past? After all Will couldn't have been his only friend, and since Ealdor is in Cenred's kingdom and Magic isn't outlawed there then maybe there was another reason he left? It was pondering this that I got the idea for this fic. This is my first Merlin fanfic, so let me know what you think!

* * *

Merlin sighed as he watched Arthur training with his Knights, his new Knights. It wasn't that he didn't like Elyan, Gwaine, or Lancelot; really he considered Gwaine and Lancelot close friends, and Elyan a pleasant sort of bloke. As for Percival and Leon, well he didn't really care about them either way, didn't even know them really. It was just that in the months following Morgana's betrayal they had gotten closer. Arthur and his Knights that is.

He supposed it was inevitable, after all Arthur had never had the opportunity to actually be _friends _with his Knights before, and after everything that this group had been through together it was only natural that they became close friends. Not just what they had been through together fighting Morgana and her army, but each of them had had adventures with Arthur and each other individually as well over the years prior to the invasion of the immortal army.

Oh sure, he was still friends with Gwaine and Lancelot... and Arthur. But over the past few months it had slowly been shifting. They spent more and more time with each other, training, hunting, and relaxing. They had more in common then Merlin did with any of them. Elyan and Lancelot were commoners, and Gwaine considered himself one, and they were able to bond with each other because of that fact. Merlin could never understand because... well because Arthur hadn't made _him _a knight. He tried to force down the pang he felt at the thought.

Anger? Jealousy? Both maybe, however silly that was. Merlin knew he wouldn't have made a good Knight; he just wasn't suited for it. But that didn't stop him from wishing that he too could be considered equal. After all he had done more than enough to deserve it, but of course Arthur didn't know that. Nobody did, save Lancelot and Gaius.

Out of them all Lancelot at least treated him the same, noticed him the most. But even then he had less time, busy with his new duties and friends. Merlin felt increasingly forgotten, even Gwen barely had time for him anymore. She fit perfectly into Arthurs circle, privately considered by those among it to be the future queen. Gaius was the same as always, but that did little to ease Merlin's loneliness. After all Gaius had the entire court and city to tend to, he was a busy man. Besides Merlin craved friends, not that he didn't consider Gaius so, but he was more of a father figure. Not what Merlin needed at the moment.

As for Arthur, well it seemed having friends agreed with him. He was nicer overall, gave him less chores, and was less insulting. Merlin hated it. Oh he was sure that Arthur still thought of him the same way, as a loyal friend, and somewhat dim. But Arthur had new friends now, ones that he could trust. He had less time for Merlin, spent less time bantering with him, joking, or insulting him. Their easy friendship was quickly disappearing, and Arthur didn't even seem to notice. That was the worst of it really, that Arthur didn't notice, because it meant that he just didn't care the way that he used to. Now Arthur went to his Knights when he had a problem, or wanted to waste time, or well anything really.

It wasn't like they didn't include him; he still followed Arthur around like always. But now it was more like he was an outsider looking in, and he didn't like the feeling. Sometimes he couldn't help but wonder why he left home in the first place. He missed his friends; he missed feeling as if he belonged. He missed feeling as if he mattered. After all magic wasn't outlawed in Cenred's kingdom, he could have stayed. He could have continued working for Kanen, as his _personal _servant. Maybe if he had Will would still be alive? If he hadn't left Kanen would have continued to leave Ealdor alone, as was their arrangement. But he had left, and Will was dead, and he couldn't change the past however much he wanted to.

But it had become too much for him, and he felt as if he was selling his soul. Which he supposed he had been, in a manner of speaking. And then of course after what happened, he couldn't have stayed. He hadn't had a choice, not really. He had done the only thing he could do, and came to Camelot. But that didn't make this any easier. Merlin sighed again and tilted his face up to the sun briefly from his spot on the fence before turning back to Arthur and the Knights.

They were beginning to wrap up, and Merlin hopped off the fence as they made their way towards him so that he could grab Arthur's things from him. It was when he turned around that he saw him, Frayne, one of his closest friends. Merlin was both shocked and overwhelmingly happy to him. He couldn't help but wonder fleetingly if it was magic that brought him here, due to Merlin's own thoughts mere moments before. And although he could tell from the look on his friend's face that whatever the reason was that brought him here it wasn't something good, he found he didn't care.

So he let a small somewhat sad smile quirk his lips as he made his way to his friend, and as they clapped each other on the back Merlin couldn't help but wonder, was he truly so lonely that he would welcome bad news if it meant he got to see a familiar face? He found that the answer was a resounding yes.

* * *

Arthur swiped at his sweaty brow as he signalled for practise to be brought to a close. It was an extremely hot day, and the long hours of practise and only magnified the heat. He longed for a nice cool bath to soak his aching limbs, and as soon as things were wrapped up here he would make sure to get Merlin to prepare him one. Immediately he felt a slight, _slight, _pang of guilt at the thought. He had tried to ease up on Merlin lately. He had been, there was no other word for it and he mentally cringed even as he thought it, touched that Merlin had stuck by him throughout the entire Morgana... issue. He had remained with him to witness Morgana's speech, had been the one to give him the kick into action that he needed, and had remained with them throughout the rest even though he really was pants at fighting.

It had given him a new appreciation for his friend. So he had lightened up a bit. After all there was no reason he had to drag Merlin on hunt when he hated them so much, especially now that he had Gwaine, Lancelot, Elyan, Percival, and Leon. And why pointlessly drag him on scouting missions, raids, or all the other dangerous duties he had? Merlin had proven to be beyond loyal, and Arthur felt guilty for abusing that by needlessly dragging him into danger time and time again. He stopped insulting him so much too, after all he had meant what he said about being _equals _with all those at the round table. And if he happened to notice that their friendship wasn't as easy as it was before, well it really was for the best if it meant keeping Merlin safe.

So it was with these thoughts occupying Arthur's mind, distracting him, as they made their way off the training field. It wasn't until Elyan had said, "Say, who is that Merlin is talking to?" that Arthur shook himself free of his thoughts. Glancing up he didn't recognize the man, he looked to be about Merlin's age, and judging by the warm welcome they obviously knew each other well.

"I've not seen him around before." Lancelot replied, curiously gazing over at Merlin and his companion. Arthur followed Lancelot's gaze, curious as well. Judging from the frequent hand gestures and rapidly moving lips they were having an intense discussion.

"Well, let's find out shall we?" Arthur said, nodding at his men before making his way slowly towards his manservant. As the group walked towards them they were able to hear part of the conversation, as it appeared Merlin and his... friend were to wrapped up to notice their approach.

"Are you sure?" Merlin's voice floated down to them. "I've not heard anything about his arrival..."

"Straight from the horse's mouth, I overheard him talking to Julian; they plan to make a surprise visit."

They heard Merlin groan, "Great, just what I need. I suppose they're coming to find out where she is?"

"That's what I figured...But Merlin that's not all..."

Again Merlin groaned. "That's not all?" And now they were close enough to see Merlin's companion shake his head.

"Kanen will be coming as well."

"Lovely, just what I need, to attend to the _personal _needs of Kanen on top of trying to keep Lord Rion and Julian from killing me on sight ..."

"Well it could be worse." At Merlin's how-could-it-possibly-be-worse look his friend elaborated. "Elaine could have chosen to come with them..." And it seemed that Merlin finally noticed the Knights approach because he quietly murmured something to his friend, causing him to nod, clap his arm lightly, and walk off.

Arthur's mind was whirring as he tried to wrap his brain around what he had just heard. Merlin had been Kanen's s_ervant_? Why would any Lord want to kill Merlin on sight? He exchanged looks with Gwaine, what had Merlin gotten himself into this time?

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So, love it, hate it? Review and let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, and I am not making any money from this.

AN: Sorry its been so long! I'm not very happy with this chapter, its choppy and eventually I'll fix it and reload it. But I wanted to get something posted for you guys sooner rather then later.

**Warnings: This will be the only time that I post warnings for the story. Firstly, this story will contain SLASH. Secondly, there will be mention of past abuse both physical and possibly sexual. There will be violence, and swearing. You have been warned.**

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It had been nearly a full twenty four hours since Arthur and the others had overheard Merlin talking to, whom Arthur supposed was, his friend. Merlin had hastily finished his duties for the day and then promptly disappeared. Not that Arthur was worried. After all, Merlin had disappeared on occasion before and had always turned out to be perfectly fine. It was just rather annoying; after all he had a manservant for a reason. Or at least that's what Arthur kept telling himself.

Shortly after Merlin had pulled his disappearing act Arthur and Gwen had told the story of Kanen, and how they had saved Merlin's village from him. "And Merlin was this guy's servant?" Gwaine asked.

Leon looked thoughtful. "Not necessarily…"

Gwaine just shook his head, "Merlin said so himself, or were you not listening to the same conversation I was?"

"He didn't actually say that he had been his servant just that he attended to Kanen's personal needs" Lancelot pointed out. "Besides, if Merlin had been a servant before—"

"Then you'd think he'd be better at it." Arthur interjected. The conversation had continued on, speculating about just what Merlin had meant, and who the other people he had been talking about were. Really, Arthur thought tiredly, you'd think that the Prince of Camelot and his knights would have more important things to do with their evenings then speculate on the personal life of his manservant.

Of course it wasn't until the next morning that Arthur had received word that several lords from Essetir were travelling to Camelot with the hope of entering into peace talks. (Cenred's Kingdom.) With Cenred dead, they were leaderless and the country was in shambles. Several lords with lands bordering Camelot had decided to enter into negotiations to possibly join Camelot, or at the very least come to some kind of peace agreement while they rebuilt their country. Arthur could only assume that Kanen, along with the Lords Rion and Julian that Merlin's friend had mentioned, would be within that group.

And if Merlin didn't turn up soon and give Arthur some bloody answers he just might go crazy.

* * *

Frayne was one of Merlin's oldest friends. They had grown up together, and both had gotten work as servants at a young age. Frayne also knew of Merlin's magic. Merlin couldn't help but be happy that Frayne was here, it had been far too long since Merlin had seen him. He wished the circumstances had been better, but he was happy nonetheless.

Frayne told Merlin that he had been working for Lord Julian, not directly but as a lesser servant, for the last year. He had been working when he overheard Lord Rion and Julian talking about going to Camelot. They had no idea that Merlin was there, and were merely going to enter into peace talks. However it would become obvious to them once they arrived that Merlin was there, since they were bound to see him as he was Arthur's personal manservant.

So Frayne had immediately left to warn Merlin, and Merlin definitely appreciated the warning. Although Lord Rion and Julian hadn't been actively searching for him all these years he knew they would not let the chance for vengeance pass them by a second time. Kanen was another problem altogether. Merlin had worked as Kanen's personal servant from the time he was seven years old right up until he had been forced to leave Ealdor for good.

Kanen was sadistic, and did not take kindly to losing what he considered his property. Merlin knew that Kanen would only be worse due to the situation in Ealdor the first year that Merlin had been in Camelot. Kanen knew things, things that could make Merlin's life in Camelot quite difficult. But add in the fact that, having worked for Kanen for so long, Merlin knew things that Kanen did not want known and Kanen would not simply let Merlin escape his grasp again.

The upside to all of this was that Frayne was staying, for now at least. "I'm not going to leave you to deal with this alone Merlin!" Frayne had said, rolling his eyes. "You're going to need all the help you can get." Frayne had helped Merlin before, as had Will –but the thought of Will was still too painful. Merlin had worked so hard to keep his past separate from his new life here in Camelot, but he supposed it was inevitable that it would catch up to him sooner or later.

At least Merlin would get to see some more of his friends, and really he could use some friendly faces. He had been feeling increasingly alone, excluded from Arthur and the others. Like he was stuck on the outside, with no idea how to fit in with them anymore – and they kept moving further and further away from him. He knew it wasn't intentional on their part, but the thought wasn't comforting. It would be nice to have people he knew, that he was friends with around. Many of his friends growing up had been working for some of the Lords that would be coming to Camelot, and having worked for Kanen for so long he had friends from other places that had also worked –and still worked- for Kanen that would be coming as well.

Merlin and Frayne had talked late into the night, catching up on each other's lives. Frayne was tall, around Merlin's height, with dark hair. He wasn't as lean as Merlin was; he had more muscle but obviously not as much as say Arthur. Frayne was always fun, always up for anything. But he was serious too; he was respectful when he needed to be. He also was a bit like will, jaded against anyone of noble birth. He wasn't as bad as will had been, and really most of Merlin's friends were distrustful of those in power. They had learned at a young age that they could not be trusted.

They had talked until the sun came out, before finally going to sleep. By the time Merlin got up it was late afternoon, and he hadn't seen Arthur for nearly twenty four hours. He knew Arthur would be furious, and figured he might as well face the music sooner rather than later.

* * *

Arthur was sitting in his private dining room with Gwen, Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, and Leon when Merlin finally made his first appearance of the day. Arthur glanced up as Merlin put the food on the table, but before he could open his mouth to say something Merlin straightened up.

"If that's all I'll just go prepare your rooms Mi'lord." Merlin left before Arthur could say anything either way.

It became clear to Arthur the next morning that Merlin was avoiding him. When he had returned to his rooms the previous night Merlin was nowhere to be seen. When he had woken up this morning his breakfast was on the table and his clothes for the day were laid out for him, but Merlin was nowhere in sight. Arthur was rather annoyed. Okay, he was more than annoyed. As the day wore on Arthur still hadn't seen Merlin, and a quick check he found out that Lancelot and Gwaine hadn't seen him either.

Arthur had had enough. The lords of Essetir were due to arrive the next day and Arthur wanted to find out what was going on before they arrived. How was he supposed to protect Merlin if he didn't know what was going on? Finally, completely fed up after returning to his rooms once again to find everything ready for him but no Merlin in sight, he had his guards summon him.

* * *

"So you've just been avoiding him? That's probably not the best idea Merlin, it'll just make him angry."

"Yeah, probably. But Arthur's not like Kanen Frayne, he's not going to have me flogged for avoiding him. He might yell and call me an idiot, but he's never hurt me."

"If you say so." Frayne said, looking quite doubtful. Merlin could almost hear the unspoken _yet. _Of course that was when the Guards showed up, which really wasn't helpful when Merlin was trying to convince Frayne that Arthur wasn't like Kanen.

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**I also wanted to point out that this story is obviously AU. It takes place somewhere between the end of the third season and the beginning of the fourth. Any differences you notice are done on purpose. **

Anyways, there you go! I promise the next chapter will be better. Leave a review and let me know what you think :)


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, and I am not making any money off of this.

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Merlin entered Arthur's rooms stiffly, looking anywhere but at Arthur. He didn't know what to tell Arthur, and he didn't want to lie more then he already had which was why he had been avoiding him. "You wanted to see me?" He asked, trying his best to sound normal –and failing miserably.

Arthur just raised an eyebrow at him. "Nice of you to finally grace me with your presence _Mer_lin. Finally finished gallivanting around with that friend of yours?" Arthur was scowling now, well not scowling per say but he had that 'I am not pleased with you Merlin, but I'm trying not to show it so that I can lure you into a false sense of security' face on.

"I've not been gallivanting!" Merlin replied, somewhat indignantly (and rather hoping to distract Arthur, however futile that was). "Besides, what's it to you? I've got all my chores done so what difference does it make?"

"What difference does it make? Did it not occur to you Merlin, that it might be nice to actually _see _my manservant once in a while?"

"Well, as you've said before I'm such a lousy manservant anyways so I'd think you'd be happy not to have to put up with me—" Merlin said, angry all of a sudden. The stress of knowing that everyone would be arriving tomorrow and dealing with everything that would happen was starting to wear on him.

"Which is a real wonder in and of itself considering that you apparently have experience with being someone's servant." Arthur was definitely scowling now, he knew he was but he couldn't stop himself. He was both annoyed and slightly hurt that he hadn't known this about Merlin. He had thought that they were closer than that, that there were no secrets between them. After all, Merlin knew all of Arthur's secrets, had lived through most of them with him actually.

"Ah. That." Of course, Merlin had known that Arthur had overheard part of his and Frayne's conversation the other day. He just hadn't known how much, and he had hoped that Arthur hadn't heard that particular detail. Merlin fiddled with the hem of his sleeve, avoiding Arthur's gaze.

"Yes, that. I also happened to hear something about a Lord Rion and Julian wanting to kill you. You can imagine my concern when after hearing that you start avoiding me."

Merlin winced visibly. Arthur had heard a lot more then Merlin had thought he had. How was he going to explain this? Arthur was genuinely concerned, he was trying to mask it but Merlin could tell. And although Merlin had been able to keep his magic a secret, he really was an awful liar. And really what could he say? He couldn't think of a lie that would be believable. He was sick of lying to Arthur. Maybe he could tell him some of it. Maybe it would help them regain some of their closeness. Merlin craved that relationship, he wanted it back.

But he had taken too long to reply, and Arthur had seen Merlin wince. Arthur grew more concerned, clearly whatever was going on was more serious then Arthur had thought it was. Arthur stood, and crossed the room to stand in front of Merlin. "Merlin?" Arthur asked quietly, placing a hand on Merlin's shoulder in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.

Merlin glanced up, before looking away. What was he supposed to say? He needed more time! "You know you can talk to me Merlin." Arthur said, somewhat awkwardly. "You know that I consider you my closest…" Friend, Merlin knew that's what Arthur was trying to say. "I want to help you." And I'm worried; Merlin knew that that's what Arthur wanted to say –was trying to say- in his own way.

"It's a long story Arthur."

"I have time."

"I'm not sure it's one you'll want to hear."

Arthur just stared at him. "Just spit it out Merlin, clearly I want to know or I wouldn't be asking!" Merlin winced again. Arthur sighed, "Let's sit down." He gestured to the seats by the fire. Once they were sitting, Merlin quite awkwardly having never actually sat here before. Usually he was working when they talked, not sitting with Arthur in his rooms. It left Merlin feeling decidedly unbalanced, and he wondered if that was perhaps Arthur's intention.

"Well, to start with I was Kanen's servant for around eleven years –right up until I came here at eighteen. My mother she- well we needed the money. And Kanen, he wasn't quite as hard on Ealdor whenever he had one of us. He never needed the food; he only took it to show he could. To show he had the power to do it, and whenever he had someone from the village working for him he could show his…" Merlin hesitated, looking for the right word. "dominance that way."

Arthur stared into the fire as he listened to Merlin speak. It wasn't uncommon for nobility to behave that way; they did it to keep the commoners as downtrodden as possible so as to ensure that they stayed under their control. He hadn't liked the way Merlin had said dominance. Arthur had noticed Merlin's hesitation, obvious Kanen hadn't been a nice master. Not that Arthur had expected it. "So, you worked for him, to help your mother and the village." Merlin nodded, and Arthur couldn't help his next question. "For eleven years? Then why on earth are you still so –so horrible at it?"

Merlin looked rather indignant. "I wouldn't say I'm horrible—"

"Just keep telling yourself that Merlin." Arthur said dryly.

The conversation degenerated from there into their usual banter, and it wasn't until Merlin had left that Arthur realized that he hadn't really got any of his questions answered.

* * *

The next morning found Arthur meeting with the lords from Essetir. Introductions had been made, and there were eight Lords in all that had come. Although the eight that were present represented a larger group of nobility. Arthur had recognized Kanen immediately; the man hadn't changed at all. From the obvious sneer Kanen wore Arthur knew that Kanen also recognized him.

Arthur hadn't had a chance to talk to Merlin again, so before the Lords had arrived he had instructed Gwaine, Lancelot, Leon, Elyan, and Percival to be on the lookout (and to keep a close eye) on Kanen as well as the Lords Rion and Julian. Not that he would have needed to; his knights were obviously just as concerned as Arthur himself was. When Lord Julian was introduced Arthur had immediately disliked the man. Julian had given off an oily vibe, as if he could slither his way out of any given situation. Arthur had also disliked Lord Rion, he had look hard and unforgivable.

After the introductions had been made Arthur had the lords shown to their rooms so that they could settle in before the feast that night. Of course, it was then that Kanen had noticed Merlin. Arthur couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that Kanen had seen Merlin, but he had noticed Kanen's change in stance. Gone was the slight sneer, and Kanen had practically dripped with false sincerity as he inquired after Merlin. Arthur exchanged glances with Gwaine as he watched Merlin dip gracefully into a respectful bow and murmur a "Pleased as always to see you Mi'Lord" in a flawless imitation of a perfect servant. Really, it was quite startling to see.

Arthur could see Gwaine frowning in Kanen's direction, and Lancelot looking rather concernedly at Merlin. "I am quite glad to see you Merlin." Kanen continued, his voice oozing. "It is rather hard to find good help these days; I've been through several personal servants since you left my service." Inexplicably Merlin winced slightly at this, although Arthur had no idea why. "In fact" Kanen continued, "I am in between servants at the moment."

Arthur took this opportunity to jump in. "I'll have one of the palace servants assigned to you Lord Kanen." His voice firm and decisive. He knew that Kanen was angling to use Merlin; it was not unheard of for visiting Lords to use either his or his father's servants during their stay. Usually it was a sign of trust and hospitality, to show that the Camelot wanted whatever arrangement that was being made to work out and thus gave the guest either the prince or king's servant to use in order to show that they were receiving the best possible care. Strictly speaking, Arthur should be assigning Merlin to one of these men, or risk insulting them. And Kanen was situating himself to be the one Merlin was assigned to, the thought made Arthur uneasy.

"Of course, I had been hoping that perhaps Merlin could assist me for the duration of our stay as he already is accustomed to the way I like things done… But I appreciate your generosity all the same." Arthur hadn't been expecting Kanen to be that direct, most lords wouldn't have risked it as it was borderline rude. Arthur would have little choice now but to assign Merlin to Kanen, or he would risk insulting all of the Lords. The political ramifications would not be good, Arthur had no choice now.

He gave a polite answer back, and had assigned Merlin to Kanen. He felt awful about it, and had a sick twist in his stomach. But Merlin would be fine. After all, he had worked for Kanen for eleven years. Merlin would have said something, if there was a reason for Arthur to worry.

At least, that's what Arthur kept telling himself.

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Thanks everyone that has reviewed so far, I really appreciate it! The next chapter should be out in a couple days, and I'll be longer then this one :) Leave me a review and tell me what you think!

Also: I know which direction I'm going in this story, but I'd like to get a sense of what you guys are thinking. So in your review let me know if you want this to be Arthur/Merlin slash or for it to stay strictly Bromance.


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